me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
