Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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