i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I could fuck to npr.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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