i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
