do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
