I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
