I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
