Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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