Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
