I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
