I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
