i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
