The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
