I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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