guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
