Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
