problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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