After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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