every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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