Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
