A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
