Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
