I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
