we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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