There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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