he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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