he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
