Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
