Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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