**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
