it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
