she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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