ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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