Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
