It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
