there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
