my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
