I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My balls are so social today.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
