Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
