Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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