Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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