forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
