Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
