My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The best revenge is premature balding
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
