Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
