we're blogging at a bar
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
