maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
