the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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