yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think my tv is drunk
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
