walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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