My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
