Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
